Historic Peace Deal Signed by Two Nations Who Did Not Read It

GENEVA — Two nations locked in a decades-long territorial dispute signed a 400-page peace agreement Wednesday that neither side's leadership has actually read. "Both parties have agreed to the terms, which I'm told are in there somewhere," declared lead negotiator Ambassador James Haverford, gesturing at the document. "The important thing is the photo op." Sources revealed the final draft was produced at 3 a.m. by exhausted junior diplomats who "mostly copy-pasted from a 1997 trade agreement and hoped no one would check." International law experts predict the deal will hold for approximately as long as it takes someone to reach page 214, which accidentally cedes a major seaport to Finland, a country that was not part of the negotiations.