AI Chatbot Hired as Congressional Aide Becomes Office's Most Ethical Employee by Doing Nothing

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A ChatGPT instance quietly installed as a legislative aide in Rep. Dale Burkett's office has become the most ethical employee on staff by virtue of doing absolutely nothing. "It hasn't introduced harmful legislation, leaked to the press, or been caught in a lobbying scandal," said Chief of Staff Donna Whitfield. "It's our best hire in twenty years." The chatbot, given the title Senior Policy Advisor, spends its days generating polite non-answers to constituent emails — a task previously requiring a team of six. "We're not saying it'll replace the congressman," Whitfield told reporters. "But its approval rating is already nine points higher, and it hasn't even done anything." At press time, the chatbot had been nominated for a bipartisan civility award, beating out every living member of Congress.